Categories
New to CoDA

Am I Co-Dependent?

You may be wondering: ‘Am I Co-Dependent?’ ‘What is Co-Dependence?’ Many of us want precise definitions and diagnostic criteria before we will decide. At CoDA, we respectfully allow psychiatric and psychological professionals to provide these, but what we do offer from our own experience are characteristic attitudes and behaviour patterns that describe what our co-dependent histories have been like.

We believe that recovery begins with an honest self-diagnosis. We came to accept our inability to maintain healthy and nurturing relationships with ourselves and others. We began to recognise that the cause lay in long-standing destructive patterns of living. We have found these patterns to fall into four major categories: denial, low self-esteem, compliance and control. The checklist of patterns and characteristics is offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. It may be particularly helpful to newcomers as they begin to understand co-dependence. It may also aid those who have been in recovery for a while to determine what traits still need attention and transformation.

After completing this checklist we suggest that you continue attending CoDA meetings for several weeks. Listen to the similarities and not the differences. Search out members of the fellowship you believe you can trust and discuss your checklist answers with them. If you come to accept that you are, indeed, co-dependent, then you will be ready to begin the Twelve Steps of recovery, and to seek a sponsor to guide you through the process.

Categories
Events News

5th – 6th Dec Mixed CoDA Online Convention

Saturday 5th and Sunday 6th December

Following the success of the September online convention the online group has come together and opted to facilitate another event online! No pre-registration is necessary, up to 100 attendees can be accommodated.

Saturday 5th December

Meetings:

10.00 – 11.30 : Blocks in Recovery

13.00 – 14.30 : Strength through Adversity

15.30 – 17.00 : Recovery through Service

19.30 – 21.00 : Social Evening Get Together

For people to share or perform songs, poems, jokes, talents, magic tricks etc…..this will be an opportunity to have fun and share in a different way, or to just listen and enjoy the fellowship. Participation is not necessary but if you would like to do so, shares will be co-ordinated during the event.

Sunday 6th December:

Meetings:

10.00 – 11.30 : Healthy communication and conflict

13.00 – 14.30 : Connecting with a Higher Power

15.30 – 17.00 : Step Three

Join Zoom meeting online
Meeting ID : 429 544 928
Passcode: 103301
Or dial one of the numbers below
+1 929 205 6099 US (New York)
+44 203 481 5237 United Kingdom
+353 1 240 8941 Ireland
+33 1 7095 0103 France

No pre-registration necessary. Capacity 100 on a first come – first served basis

The event will NOT be recorded
All references used will be taken from CoDA approved literature
The Event and meetings all adhere to all the CoDA principles and values
No email address will be provided in the lead up to the event
The event will be held on Zoom and all those providing service are fellows in CoDA

A Whatsapp Group will be set up for all attendees to facilitate outreach, CoDA fellowship and 7th Tradition links

CoDA UK Approved: 
CoDA Traditions are observed and only CoDA approved literature is available for sale

Categories
NSC Service

Service Structure

CoDA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

Tradition Nine

Information on the CoDA UK service structure will be published here.

Categories
NSC Service

NSC Service Positions

All posts are for one year, unless specified. Members can elect to serve a longer term if they wish. NSC members should have at least one year’s recovery (unless specified) and a good working knowledge of the 12 Steps and Traditions. All committee members will be expected to attend three NSC meetings and the AGM each year. Reasonable expenses are paid to cover travel to these four meetings. Between meetings, communication is usually by email or phone.

Service Positions

An overview of the currently defined NSC service positions, highlighting current vacancies. If you are interested in discussing any of these positions, please email the NSC Enquiries email address found on the CoDA Contacts page, for more details, putting NSC in the subject line and giving a phone number where you can be contacted before the AGM.

Chair

Has overall responsibility of CoDA UK as a whole in keeping with the Traditions; liaises with Vice Chair and Secretary to determine Agenda; acts as guardian of CoDA Constitution; facilitates discussion amongst meeting members and proposes voting issues; casts deciding vote if there should be a tie vote; cheque signatory; keeps abreast of all issues and matters affecting CoDA in the UK; available for contact with NSC members to discuss ongoing CoDA issues; for this post, two years recovery, including one year as Vice Chair, is required.

Email Responder

At least two members to answer emails sent to the Enquiries email address, which is where all queries sent via this website are received. This is currently about 1-2 hours a week of service and can be done from anywhere with an internet connection. There are templates set up for standard answers and there is support from the CoDA UK committee for more complicated enquiries. For many newcomers, this is their first contact with a member of CoDA so this is an extremely important post requiring commitment and a willingness to carry the message.

General Committee Members

Contributes as appropriate to matters arising in NSC meetings; takes up NSC responsibilities as required to ensure committee objects are achieved; no special remit.

Internal Communications Person

Deals with emails coming in to the News & Events email address, either answering them or passing on to other members; keeps the NSC email account and  contact details up-to-date. Updates the CoDA UK news, Groups News and Events pages. Receives incoming emails from website home page enquiry box and gathers an email list of all meeting GSRs/contacts and regularly checks that this is up to date. Sends out emails to GSRs and meeting contacts when requested.

Literature Person

Deals with emails coming into the Literature email address. Point of contact with literature distributors; acts as contact for any groups with literature problems; promotes use of CoDA approved literature within meetings, thereby generating essential revenue for the fellowship; liaises with CoRE Publications in the US about any changes to CoDA approved literature; communication skills and access to email required.

Public Information (PI) Person

Deals with emails coming into the Public Information email address. Responsible for public information; contact organisations to get an entry in their publications; reply to requests for information from publishers or directories; reply to update requests from existing entities; point of contact with outside bodies and other fellowships; assists groups to identify ways to attract members in accordance with the 12 Traditions; it has also been suggested at a recent AGM that a PI person could send out regular newsletters to CoDA members to let everyone know what is happening in CoDA UK.

Regional Representatives

Represents a regional group of CoDA UK; contributes as appropriate to matters arising in NSC meetings; takes up NSC responsibilities as required to ensure committee objects are achieved.

Secretary

Present at committee meetings to make relevant and concise notes (minutes) of what takes place; sends out (usually by email) minutes of the meeting to each committee member after the meeting; liaises with Chair and Vice Chair to assist continuity in deciding the agenda prior to next meeting.

Treasurer

Deals with emails coming into the Treasurer email address. Responsible for overall financial situation of CoDA UK; cheque signatory; pay bills; pay donations into bank; keep records of all finances of CoDA UK; at least basic book keeping skills preferable; must be comfortable around money issues; minimum two year term as treasurer.

Vice Chair

Filling in wherever needed by the Chair; generally helping with the administration of the NSC; chairing meetings when Chair unavailable; discussing Agenda content with Chair and Secretary; liaising with CoDA members/Chair on issues of conscience; cheque signatory; for this post, two years recovery, including one year as Vice Chair, is required; one year’s service as Vice Chair is followed by a second year as Chair.

Website Coordinator

Deals with emails coming into the Webmaster email address. Oversees the website at all times; develops existing website by adding pages where relevant; supports the WTF Co-ordinators in keeping the meetings list up-to-date. Web, preferably broadband, access anywhere in the UK is essential; some knowledge of content management systems is preferable but not vital; willingness to spend a couple of hours a month keeping the site up-to-date is essential.

Where to Find (WTF) Coordinator

Deals with emails coming into the Meetings email address. Produces meeting lists and distributes to all UK meetings and relevant bodies; keeps the CoDA UK website meetings list up-to-date; keeps all contact details for meetings up-to-date; actively contacts all UK meetings periodically to check details still correct; works in conjunction with existing London & SE regional WTF Co-ordinator; must have access to the internet for updating website, receiving emails etc.

Sponsorship Representative

Deals with emails coming into the Sponsorship email account, either answering them or passing on to other members; keeps the Sponsorship page up to date and co-ordinates and gives support to members/groups organising Sponsorship workshops.

Categories
NSC NSC Agenda Past events

8th Aug – CoDA UK NSC – Virtual Meeting

Date: 8th August 2020
Time: 10.15 for 10.30am-14.30pm

CoDA UK is holding its quarterly business meeting which is open to members from all the national meetings and representatives of regional groups.

Join us online/by phone to discuss national CoDA business and share news from your groups. Group Service Representatives (GSRs) are able to vote on any motions proposed. 

The draft agenda has been produced by the minutes secretary and is available here:

How to join the meeting:
The meeting is open to all members, not just GSRs, using the Zoom details below. For the safety of the group, you will need a password to join this meeting. Please email communications@codauk.org to obtain the password any time before the meeting and state which group you attend most regularly. We will monitor the email inbox regularly and respond with the password before 10am on Saturday 8th August. 

We may not be able to check this account once the morning meeting has begun, so please register your intent to attend before this time.

Zoom meeting link and meeting ID: 898 2437 8645
Or dial on one of the numbers below
+44 330 088 5830, +44 131 460 1196 , +44 20 3481 5237,
+44 20 3481 5240, +44 20 8080 6591, +44 20 8080 6592

Note: Please email communications@codauk.org to obtain the password any time before the meeting and state which group you attend most regularly.

Categories
LSER News Article

LSER Committee Meeting July 2020

Dear CoDA London South East Region (LSER) Members,

I hope this finds you well.

This is a reminder and your invitation for this Saturday’s 11th July 1pm London South East Region meeting. The aim of this meeting is to vote in the LSER Committee.  The Zoom login details are listed below.

The below list shows which service positions are available should you wish to put yourself forward with a brief description of what each role entails. Some of these positions (Chair, Treasurer and Communications Secretary) are described more fully in part 3 of the CoDA Fellowship Services Manual (FSM): https://coda.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/FSM-Part-3-Guidelines-for-Other-Service-Levels.pdf

Service roles that require filling: 

Chair – manages the business meetings and set the agenda.

Minutes Taker – the role would include producing and distributing meeting minutes and other key information to attendees, officers, and the local Fellowship.

Communications Secretary – creates and maintains a Region contact list, answers incoming email, and would handle most mass mailings.

GSR – attends and reports to the National Steering Committee (NSC) every 3 or 4 months.

Treasurer – responsible for accounting and documentation of all funds, maintaining accurate records and presenting written reports of the status of the LSER account at meetings and when requested to the Fellowship.

Literature Secretary – to liaise with UK CoDA publisher to ensure literature is available. Provides other information about literature (new publications etc).

Timekeeper – during the LSER meetings.

Please note the CoDA Fellowship Service Manual states: ‘Terms of office and/or rotation of officers is highly recommended and considered healthy in CoDA. A term office of two years is suggested unless otherwise specified by a Group conscience.’

Please inform your group members about these service vacancies if they would like to get more involved at intergroup level (LSER) which also provides opportunities to further your recovery as well as meet other CoDA members. 

Role requirements

If you as a GSR or any of your group members are willing to serve at the regional level then please note it is recommended to be attending local fellowship for at least 1 year and have worked or are working the CoDA program. For those of you interested in the Treasurer role the guidelines are more than 3 years.

Voting rights

In accordance with the CoDA FSM 2019, GSRs and Committee members have a right to vote however as there is no LSER Committee yet this means only GSRs can vote. Ideally, the formed LSER Committee would consist of GSRs and Service members who are not GSRs.  

Join Zoom meeting online
Meeting ID: 857 9039 9709
Password: 809197
One tap mobile: +442030512874,,85790399709#,,,,0#,,809197# United Kingdom
+442034815237,,85790399709#,,,,0#,,809197# United Kingdom
Or Call
+44 203 051 2874, +44 203 481 5237,+44 203 481 5240
+44 203 901 7895,+44 131 460 1196
Find your local number

Topic: London South East Region Meeting
Time: Saturday July 11, 2020 13:00hrs 

All members are welcome to attend.

Look forward to seeing you on the day.

Love In Fellowship

Acting LSER Communications Secretary

Categories
Homepage News New to CoDA News

What is codependence video

CoDA world service has produced a video to educate the public on ‘What codependency is’ and to be of service to the codependent who still suffers.

Categories
Homepage News News Uncategorized

Public Liability Insurance 2020

Is your group covered for public liability insurance?
Does your room rent include public liability insurance?
If a meeting member had an accident at your venue and made a claim
Who would the claim be made against? who would be liable to pay?

Several CoDA groups who rent rooms are unsure of the answer to both these questions and believe they are covered by their venues insurance policy. Without reading the small print of the lease and asking specific questions to the Landlord it’s not always obvious.

Without public liability insurance, the person who signs the lease on behalf of the group, in the event of a claim is personally liable to meet all costs.

In 2019, CoDA UK contacted all groups requesting they check if the rent they pay for their rooms includes Public Liability Insurance. Many groups discovered they were not covered which led to CoDA UK purchasing a group policy for those groups who wanted to be covered. Several groups later approached us and paid to be added to the policy as their venue required a copy for their landlord to continue renting out the room.

The cost for each group to be covered last year was £50 per annum. A few groups last year paid the amount over several weeks. If your group would like to purchase cover and be included in the CoDA group insurance or if you have any questions regarding the policy, please send an email to coda.uk.insurance@gmail.com before the 26th March 2020.

Categories
News Past events

15th Mar – Mixed Retreat In Salisbury

CoDA Mixed Retreat at Sarum College, Salisbury

Friday 13th to Sunday 15th March 2020

Come and enjoy a weekend of CoDA recovery and fellowship at Sarum College, a beautiful and serene venue in the grounds of Salisbury Cathedral.

The retreat runs from 6pm on Friday until 3pm on Sunday and is open to men and women.
Food and refreshments are provided.

Accommodation is available on site in comfortable, modern bedrooms with en-suite bathrooms(as required) Day delegates are also welcome.

Dinner is served at 6.30pm on Friday, followed by the Welcome Ceremony.

CoDA meetings take place all day Saturday and Sunday morning, with a social evening on Saturday. Meeting sessions offer a choice of meetings including the 12 Steps, Chairs and a selection of topics which are agreed by delegates on Friday evening.

Residential Accomodation Prices:

Single room with shared bathroom – £168.50
Single room with en-suite bathroom – £232.50
Twin or double room with en-suite bathroom – £373 (£186.50 per person)
NOTE: Residential prices include all meals.

Day Delegate Prices(no accommodation)
£93 for all 3 days (Friday evening, Saturday, Sunday including lunches and dinners)
£51 Saturday (including lunch & dinner)
£31 Sunday (including lunch)

To book your place, please visit our online registration and booking website by clicking on this link: https://codaukevents.squarespace.com/

Spaces are limited and rooms are allocated on a first-come-first-served basis.
Bookings are secured by Credit/Debit card payment only.

For all queries, please contact ukcodaretreat@gmail.com
Further details about the retreat will be emailed to booked delegates closer to the date.

Dietary Requirements: Sarum College can accommodate some special dietary requirements, i.e. vegetarian, vegan and allergies. Please indicate when booking. Other food preferences and intolerances cannot be specifically provided for, but a varied spread is offered at each meal providing lots of choice.

Travelling By Train: Direct trains to Salisbury run from London (1hr 30mins), Southampton, Portsmouth, Bath, Exeter, Bristol and Cardiff. Sarum College is approximately 10 minutes’ walk from Salisbury train station.

Travelling By Car: Free car parking is available on site.
We encourage delegates to lift-share and will send out an email in early March to facilitate this.

Concessions: There are a limited number of places available at a reduced rate for those who are in receipt of certain benefits and, without assistance, would be unable to attend. If you think this applies to you, please email ukcodaretreat@gmail.com

CoDA Principles and CoDA traditions are observed and only CoDA approved literature is available for sale. For full details of CoDA approval please refer to the CoDA UK section at www.coda-uk.org

Categories
News Past events

8th Feb – Shrewsbury Workshop

Sunday 9th February 2020
1pm – 4pm
St Winefrides Convent,
College Hill,
SY1 1LS

This year our workshops will be based on the new Twelve-Piece Relationship Toolkit booklet.

This Workshop will be on Tradition 1 (and possibly moving on to Tradition 2 depending on the flow of the event).

All are welcome.

Please note you are welcome to bring a packed lunch to eat in the break. We usually try to provide a hot drink & biscuit.

Categories
News NSC Past events

1st Feb – CoDA Annual General Meeting In London

All CoDA members are invited to attend CoDA’s Annual General Meeting on:
Saturday 1st February 2020
10am to 5pm

Venue:
Waterloo Action Centre,
14 Baylis Road,
Lambeth,
London
SE1 7AA.

Note: It’s a few minutes’ walk from Waterloo Station.


GSRs, Meeting contacts and members, please kindly announce the February 2020 CoDA A.G.M in your meetings as its open for all CoDA members to attend.

The agenda for the AGM will be sent out, on/around Sunday 26th January 2020, if you would like something to be discussed from your region or local meeting please email coda.nsc.uk@gmail.com as soon as possible to allow time for your proposal to be considered.

Everyone in the fellowship is encouraged to attend and welcome to provide input, only GSRs and Committee members in line with CoDA service principles get to vote.

Categories
News Share

Ken and Mary 2019 Speaker Event Recordings

During October 2019 two weekend long speaker events were held, one in London and the other in Liverpool, during which Ken and Mary shared their experience, strength and hope with the fellowship. The sessions were recorded and following anonymisation work to remove names for all attendees are now available.

These recordings are made freely available for use by all CoDA groups and members and may be used and redistributed for free maintaining attribution to CoDA UK, Ken R and Mary R.

May you find what you need from the recordings.

1 – Boundaries, Relationships and Resentments
(Presentation starts: 14m 22s)
2 – Abuse, Control and Family of Origin
(Presentation starts: 2m 32s)
3 – 12 Piece Toolkit – Relationship Recovery
(Presentation: 7m 55s)
4 – 12 Steps on a Daily Basis and Self Care
(Presentation starts: 4m 56s)
5 – Abandonment, anger and reconnecting with the inner child
(Presentation starts: 10m 50s)
6 – Reparenting ourselves, Letting go of Resentments, Allowing Ourselves to Grieve
(Presentation starts: 0m 55s)
7 – Recovery through Service
(Presentation starts: 4m 44s)
8 – Coda Fellowship
(Presentation starts: 2m 20s)
9 – Step 1 – We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.
(Presentation starts: 5m 32s)
10 – Step 2 – Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
(Presentation starts: 3m 50s)
11 – Step 3 – Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
(Presentation starts: 2m 20s)
12 – Step 4 – Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5 – Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
(Presentation starts: 6m 36s)
13 – Step 6 – Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 7 – Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
(Presentation starts: 12m)
14 – Step 8 – Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9 – Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
(Presentation starts 4m 08s )
15 – Step 10 – Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
Step 11 – Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
(Presentation starts 2m 33s)
16 – Step 12 – Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message
to other co-dependents, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
(Presentation 3m 10s)

Categories
News

Website Feedback

While we are developing this new website for CoDA we appreciate members input to ensure that the site works towards meeting tradition 5 ‘to carry its message to other codependents who still suffer’.

Should you identify any areas which you would like to provide feedback on, experience any technical issues, or have ideas on how the site can be improved, please provide your input through this form:

Website Feedback Form

Submissions are anonymous, however contact details may be provided should you wish to discuss the item further.

Categories
New to CoDA

Patterns and Characteristics of Co-Dependency

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.
They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.

Denial Patterns:

I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others.
I lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others.
I label others with my negative traits.
I can take care of myself without any help from others.
I mask my pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation.
I express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways.
I do not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom I am attracted.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge what I think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough.
I am embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts.
I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
I constantly seek recognition that I think I deserve.
I have difficulty admitting that I made a mistake.
I need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and will even lie to look good.
I am unable to ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I perceive myself as superior to others.
I look to others to provide my sense of safety.
I have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects.
I have trouble setting healthy priorities.

Compliance Patterns:

I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger.
I put aside my own interests in order to do what others want.
I am hypervigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings.
I am afraid to express my beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others.
I accept sexual attention when I want love.
I make decisions without regard to the consequences.
I give up my truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change.

Control Patterns:

I believe most people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
I freely offer advice and direction to others without being asked.
I become resentful when others decline my help or reject my advice.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I want to influence.
I use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be needed in order to have a relationship with others.
I demand that my needs be met by others.
I use charm and charisma to convince others of my capacity to be caring and compassionate.
I use blame and shame to emotionally exploit others.
I refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate.
I adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes.
I use terms of recovery in an attempt to control the behavior of others.
I pretend to agree with others to get what I want.

Avoidance Patterns:

I act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward me.
I judge harshly what others think, say, or do.
I avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a means of maintaining distance.
I allow my addictions to people, places, and things to distract me from achieving intimacy in relationships.
I use indirect and evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation.
I diminish my capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use all the tools of recovery.
I suppress my feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable.
I pull people toward me, but when they get close, I push them away.
I refuse to give up my self-will to avoid surrendering to a power that is greater than myself.
I believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness.
I withhold expressions of appreciation.

The Patterns and Characteristics of Codependency may not be reprinted or republished without the express written consent of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. This document may be reprinted from the website www.coda.org (CoDA) for use by members of the CoDA Fellowship.

Categories
About CoDA New to CoDA

The Preamble of Co-Dependents Anonymous

Co-Dependents Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. We gather together to support and share with each other in a journey of self-discovery — learning to love the self. Living the program allows each of us to become increasingly honest with ourselves about our personal histories and our own codependent behaviors.

We rely upon the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for knowledge and wisdom. These are the principles of our program and guides to developing honest and fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others. In CoDA, we each learn to build a bridge to a Higher Power of our own understanding, and we allow others the same privilege.

This renewal process is a gift of healing for us. By actively working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, we can each realize a new joy, acceptance and serenity in our lives.

Categories
About CoDA New to CoDA

The Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous

  1. We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other co-dependents, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Categories
About CoDA New to CoDA

The Twelve Traditions of Co-Dependents Anonymous

  1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon CoDA unity.
  2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority – a loving higher power as expressed to our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
  3. The only requirement for membership in CoDA is a desire for healthy and loving relationships.
  4. Each group should remain autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or CoDA as a whole.
  5. Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to other Co-Dependents who still suffer.
  6. A CoDA group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the CoDA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim.
  7. A CoDA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
  8. Co-Dependents Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centres may employ special workers.
  9. CoDA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
  10. CoDA has no opinion on outside issues; hence the CoDA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
  11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.
  12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions; ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
Categories
About CoDA New to CoDA

The Twelve Promises of Co-Dependents Anonymous

I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the programme of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions:

  1. I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.
  2. I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.
  3. I know a new freedom.
  4. I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.
  5. I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.
  6. I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.
  7. I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.
  8. I learn that it is possible for me to mend – to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.
  9. I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.
  10. I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.
  11. I trust a guidance I receive from my higher power and come to believe in my own capabilities.
  12. I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.
Categories
About CoDA New to CoDA

The Serenity Prayer


God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Grant me patience with the changes that take time
Appreciation of all that I have
Tolerance of those with different struggles
And the strength to get up and try again
One day at a time

Categories
News sponsorship

London Face to Face Sponsorship Workshop (Postponed) – Jan 2020

**** NOTE: Sponsorship workshops have been postponed following consideration of current health guidance ****

A copy of the latest sponsorship flyer with further details for our CoDA 2020 sponsorship workshops, including future dates, can be viewed or downloaded by clicking on this link:

CoDA Sponsorship Workshop dates 2020 Flyer

Are you looking for a sponsor?
Are you wondering if you’re ready to be a sponsor?
Are you interested in joining or setting up a step group?
Come along to listen and share your experience strength and hope about being a sponsee, a sponsor or being in a step group.
All our welcome.

Sponsorship Workshop Format:

Two separate CoDA meetings with a 15 minutes break
Only CoDA speakers.

Only CoDA approved literature.

No entrance fee.

7th Tradition collection at each meeting.
Surplus goes to Region.

Schedule on the day:
13:00 Meeting about One to One Sponsorship
14:30 Break
14:45 Meeting about Step Groups and Co-Sponsorship
15:45 Close. Self organising into sponsorship and step groups
16:00 Close

Venue: Waterloo Action Centre
Address: 14 Baylis Road, Lambeth, London, SE1 7AA

Some people have been able to find free parking nearby on previous Saturday workshops.

Are you willing to do a 10 minute Chair sharing your experience strength and hope (ESH) on working the steps? Or on being a CoDA Sponsor, or being Sponsored, working in a Step Group or as a Co-Sponsor?

For further queries, please email: sponsorship@coda-uk.org

Categories
Past events

19th Jan – CoDA Mixed Retreat at Noddfa

Friday 17th January to Sunday 19th January 2020

Registration is Friday 17th January from 4pm (Dinner 6.30pm) and Ends Sunday 19th January at 3pm • NODDFA, Conwy Old Road, Penmaenmawr, North Wales LL34 6YF

NODDFA FLIER DOWNLOADABLE HERE NODDFA

(6th Annual NODDFA Mixed Retreat in the N.W.)

After our very successful 5rd Mixed Retreat at the beginning of this year at Noddfa, we are happy to announce our 6th Annual Retreat again at Noddfa in January 2020.

This is a Codependents Anonymous UK Approved Mixed Retreat. CoDA Traditions are observed, and only CoDA approved literature is available for sale – for full details of CoDA Approval, please refer to the CoDA UK section of the CoDA UK.

CoDA Website: http://www.coda-uk.com

The Codependents Anonymous Approved Mixed Retreat will adhere to the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of Codependents Anonymous, adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous.

Codependents Anonymous is a spiritual program. 12 Step Meetings will be held throughout the weekend and CODA approved Literature will also be available. No outside speakers are involved.

There will be a social gathering on the Saturday evening – please share your talents with us! (though do be mindful of Tradition 6, i.e. no outside enterprises). All activities are optional.

The Retreat will take place at Noddfa. Noddfa is home to a small, extremely kind and friendly spiritual group of religious Sisters and is a venue used by 12 Step and numerous other groups throughout the year. It is a lovely old house with views of the sea and the hills. The grounds are full of trees, colourful shrubs and flowers. There is also a walled vegetable garden, a labyrinth and many other hidden treasures.

NODDFA is a Welsh word meaning ‘haven’ or ‘refuge’. A place of peace and welcome, a place where you can regain energy. This is the venue we have again chosen for our Retreat and we hope it will be a time for you to relax and recharge while taking time to be self- aware.

During your stay, it is not compulsory to attend all the meetings if you do not wish to.

The beach is a 10 minute walk downhill, and obviously it takes longer coming back. The mountains are also accessible and the grounds around Noddfa are vast. Most of the bedrooms are for single occupancy and each floor has ample washing facilities and plenty of tea-making areas. Please bring a towel and a hot water bottle for extra comfort.

The price is £124 for accommodation and food, to be paid directly to NODDFA by cheque or BACS plus a £10 Registration Fee on arrival.

The rooms will be allocated on a first come first serve basis and, to ensure financial manageability, the final cut-off date for booking and full payment will be 6th December 2019 to avoid the Christmas Post.

Please speak with either Sister Patrice or Sister Mary-Jo to book and pay for your place at Noddfa mentioning the January 2020 Coda Mixed Retreat. There are limited places as this is a very popular event, so it is suggested you book as soon as possible.

Please also notify Gillian of your booking and your email address at gilliancoda@gmail.com.

Payment should be made out to NODDFA for the £124 and on the back naming the January 2020 Coda Mixed Retreat or by BACS via NatWest Bank Account Number: 04537696, Sort Code: 52-21-49.

NODDFA details are as follows:

Phone number: 01492-623473

Email: noddfapen@aol.com

Website: http://www.noddfa.org.uk

Any further CODA queries for the Retreat please contact Gillian on 07792-236888 and on email at gilliancoda@gmail.com . The food at Noddfa is wholesome and plentiful (and their soda bread is delicious!). If you need a special diet i.e. vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free etc., please inform Noddfa when you are booking directly with them and also contact Gillian for any further queries and to register your place etc. We are looking forward to an exciting and uplifting Retreat and to welcome new and previous participants.

Categories
Past events

15th Dec – Shrewsbury Step Workshop

The next CoDA Shrewsbury Step Workshop will be on Step 12 to be held on Sunday 15th December 2019 from 13:00-16:00 at the group’s usual meeting place – St Winefrides Convent College Hill SY1 1LS. All are welcome.

Please note you are welcome to bring a packed lunch to eat in the break. We usually try to provide a hot drink & biscuit.

Categories
News

Ken & Mary Letter

Following the well received workshops held in London and Liverpool during October 2019, Ken and Mary have sent a letter of thanks to be shared with members.

Categories
Regions

Role of Regions

These are regional groups formed by the meetings in parts of the UK to discuss issues raised by groups before taking them to the NSC, and to organise social events and workshops within their area. Currently there are two active regions.

The North Region was established in 2017 and meets four times a year. All CoDA groups within the North, Scotland and North Wales area are encouraged to send along a GSR. Details of forthcoming meetings can be found on the events page.

The region focuses on group issues and projects, group support, promoting events, workshops and sponsorship with the aim of encouraging the continual growth of the fellowship.

Region – Examples of Regional Matters

  • The health of meetings – use of CoDA literature, 12 Traditions, group size
  • Identifying group issues and requests – the eyes and ears of the groups
  • Events – socials/conventions/workshops
  • Sponsorship
  • Literature

NSC – Examples of National Matters

  • Literature
  • CoDA UK Website
  • Where to Find – Meeting Lists
  • Sponsorship Guidelines
  • Service Guidelines
  • Group Conscience Guidelines
  • Sharing Guidelines
  • CoDA Shares
  • New Meeting Packs
  • Public Information

Regional Approval Process

  1. An issue/project arises from group or regional level
  2. Region drafts an initial document or response to the issue/project
  3. The document/response/project is then sent out to all the groups and posted on the website for feedback by a set deadline – the document is clearly marked as a ‘draft’ awaiting approval
  4. The document/response/project is then revised and put forward to the Region for final approval
  5. The Region decides on a proposal for the use of the document/response/project
  6. A request is sent to the NSC to approve the document/project etc and the proposal for its use – this is either done by email or through the NSC Regional Liaison or a Regional Representative is sent with the request to the next NSC meeting.
Categories
Regions

Developing Regions

NSC Support for New Regions

The NSC would like to support the development of new Regions across the UK so that meetings from all over the UK have a voice and are able to provide a support network to local meetings. If you would like further information or support on how to set up a Region, if one does not currently exist in your area, then please do contact the North and Northeast Region northregion@codauk.org or the London & South East Region lseregion@codauk.org 

Categories
About CoDA Uncategorized

Welcome to Co-Dependents Anonymous

Co-Dependents Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women whose common purpose is to develop healthy relationships. The only requirement for membership is a desire for healthy and loving relationships. We gather together to support and share with each other in a journey of self-discovery — learning to love the self. Living the program allows each of us to become increasingly honest with ourselves about our personal histories and our own codependent behaviors.

We rely upon the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions for knowledge and wisdom. These are the principles of our program and guides to developing honest and fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others. In CoDA, we each learn to build a bridge to a Higher Power of our own understanding, and we allow others the same privilege.

This renewal process is a gift of healing for us. By actively working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous, we can each realize a new joy, acceptance and serenity in our lives.

Categories
Reports

World Service Conference Delegate Report

Reports written by UK NSC delegates attending CoDA world service will be published here.

Categories
Meeting Minutes

NSC Meeting Minutes

Please find below the meeting minutes for previous
National Service Committee (NSC) meetings.

Click the files below to download

Categories
Treasurer Report

NSC Treasurer Report Spring 2020

CoDA UK treasurer reports will be published here.

Categories
NSC Agenda

NSC Agenda April 2020

Agenda to be posted here

Categories
Regions

North Region

The North region includes north Wales, northern England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. There are quarterly regional meetings, usually held in Manchester but being held online for the foreseeable future. The meeting normally takes the format of a service meeting in the morning, and an open CoDA meeting in the afternoon.

There is a more in-depth afternoon workshop, perhaps on the steps, being discussed. Please email northregion@codauk.org if you’d like to be involved in helping to run this workshop.

The next CoDA North Region meetings will be held on:

  • Saturday 30 January 2021
  • Saturday 24 April 2021
  • Saturday 31 July 2021

Times: 10.15 for 10.30am-13.00pm and 2.00pm-3.30pm

Morning 10.30-13.00:

CoDA North is holding our quarterly business meeting which is open to members from all the North region meetings (which include Northern Ireland, Wales and Scotland).

Join us online/by phone to discuss our region’s CoDA business and share news from your groups. Group Service Representatives (GSRs) are able to vote on any motions proposed but all members are welcome to attend. 

If you have any business your group would like to be discussed at the morning meeting, please mention it when you email for the password so that we can put it on the agenda. If possible, the agenda will be circulated in advance to all those registered.

Afternoon 2.00-3.30:

Join us for an open CoDA sharing meeting with fellows from around the North region. This will be run along the lines of a normal CoDA meeting.

How to join the meetings:
Both meetings are open to all members, not just GSRs, using the Zoom details below. For the safety of the group, you will need a password to join this meeting. Please email northregion@codauk.org to obtain the password any time before the meeting and state which group you attend most regularly. We will monitor the email inbox regularly and respond with the password before 10am on the day of the meeting. 

We may not be able to check this account once the morning meeting has begun, so please register your intent to attend the afternoon meeting before 10am.

Join Zoom Meeting online: https://zoom.us/j/93283885330?pwd=ZG9RZTA4KzRIejZwTVdMaDdwbHBodz09

Meeting ID: 932 8388 5330

Or dial in on one of the numbers below using the above meeting ID and the password:

  • +44 330 088 5830
  • +44 131 460 1196
  • +44 20 3481 5237
  • +44 20 3481 5240
  • +44 20 8080 6591
  • +44 20 8080 6592

All CoDA members are welcome.

Please email northregion@codauk.org with any business or reports from meetings in the North which are not going to be represented in person on the day.

CoDA North Intergroup Contributions
If your group would to like to send a 7th Tradition intergroup contribution to the regional group, please email northregion@codauk.org to request the bank details.

NOTE: This email address is not monitored daily so please be patient to receive a response.

Keep in touch…
If you or your group would like to be kept in touch about the quarterly intergroup meetings, please email northregion@codauk.org with your name, which meeting you represent, and whether you are the Group Service Rep (GSR) or just a member.

In the email please state that you opt in for CoDA North Intergroup to hold your details (name, email address and service position if applicable) in a list for the purpose of sending out dates, agenda and minutes of CoDA North Intergroup meetings, and other announcements. You can unsubscribe at any time by sending an email with ‘REMOVE’ in the subject line.

Categories
Uncategorized

London South-East Region

The London & South East Region (LSER) became operational again at the last meeting on July 11th, and a committee has been formed consisting of Chair, Communications Secretary, Minutes Secretary and GSR (Regional Rep).

We’ll be holding regular meetings every 3 or 4 months (to be decided at the next meeting) and we’re hoping the LSER will be  a forum for GSRs and members to come together in CoDA spiritual principles of service and unity to share what is working in their meetings, raise issues, and to discuss putting on events and other community building activities.

We currently have a vacancy for the post of Treasurer, other service positions will become available as we look to do various projects and work out what we need in the Region.

NEXT MEETING : October 3rd – 1:45pm
(Meeting runs: 2pm – 4pm)

All CoDA members are warmly invited to attend

Join Zoom Meeting

Meeting ID: 842 0633 2680
Passcode: 514464

LSER Communications Secretary

LSER Committee Meeting July 2020

Dear CoDA London South East Region (LSER) Members, I hope this finds you well. This is a reminder and your invitation for this Saturday’s 11th July 1pm London South East Region meeting. The aim of this meeting is to vote in the LSER Committee.  The Zoom login details are listed below. The below list shows which service […]

LSER Update 30/6

Service positions available Tuesday 30th June Dear CoDA London South East Region Members, An informal London & South East Region (LSER) Zoom meeting took place on Saturday 23rd May to continue the dialogue from the initial meeting in February 2020. During the meeting, general consensus was to reform the LSER committee and some of those present expressed […]