If you’ve worked any 12 Step program, you have taken an inventory of your history and how it relates to your present.
Which patterns did you use growing up?
Denial…
– everything is fine here.
Compliance…
– You’re the adult, so you must be right.
Avoidance…
– I won’t get hurt if they don’t notice me.
Low Self-Esteem…
– I must be a really bad person, I deserve this.
Control…
– I can make this feel normal or okay.
Excerpt from Page 4
Third edition Co-Dependents Anonymous Big Blue Book
Day to day
…living will bring you opportunities to become an adult. When faced with a problem or dilemma in your adult life, ask yourself how it compares to a problem or dilemma from your child life.
Does this current circumstance remind you of an interaction with another person or situation from your past?
Determining facts…
There is a tendency to “fill in the blanks” with things we historically know.
Examples:
“Going to _____ has always been torture”.“She always gets mad at me when I_____”
Is not a basis for actual fact.“My friend was there and she told me what she heard”…. is the least factual fact.
Whats your thing?
1). Write down your “Thing” (what is upsetting you)
2). Subtract all assumptions
- historical references.
- secondhand information.
3). Subtract any additions to the original grievance
4). Write down what’s left.
This will be the actual facts you have.
Workshop originally presented by Karen D, 2015
