Sponsorship

What is Sponsorship?

Sponsorship is a voluntary relationship in which one CoDA member shares their experience, strength and hope with another member, known as a sponsee, as they explore the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions and apply them in their recovery from codependent behaviours and thinking.

Sponsors usually have experience of studying and applying the Steps themselves. They do not teach, direct or take responsibility for another person’s recovery. Instead, they share what has helped them, listen to the sponsee’s reflections and support them in developing their own understanding.

Sponsorship in CoDA

A sponsor and sponsee may speak or meet between CoDA meetings to discuss reading, written reflections, Step questions and experiences arising in recovery. A sponsor may encourage the sponsee to continue with their writing, help them remain accountable to the recovery they have chosen, and share their experience of self-care, boundaries and applying the Steps in everyday life.

At its best, sponsorship offers a relationship of trust, acceptance, honesty and steady support. A sponsor listens without judgement and shares rather than advises or directs. They may gently challenge a sponsee to recognise their patterns and remain honest with themselves, but do not criticise, control, rescue or make decisions for them.

Sponsors are also CoDA members with their own recovery, responsibilities, boundaries and commitments. Many choose to sponsor as a way of giving back what was freely given to them. Although the sponsor and sponsee have different roles, the relationship can be enriching and rewarding for both.

Sponsorship is not mandatory and is not the only way to explore the Steps. Some sponsorship relationships are brief or focused on a particular part of recovery, while others become lasting and deeply meaningful. A good sponsorship relationship can offer warmth, encouragement and companionship, while supporting each person in taking responsibility for their own recovery.

How to Find a Sponsor

Finding a sponsor can take time. There is no single correct way to do it, and it may help to speak with more than one person before deciding whether a sponsorship relationship feels right.

You may meet potential sponsors by attending CoDA meetings regularly, listening to members share and noticing whose experience, recovery and way of relating resonate with you. Some meetings invite members who are available to sponsor to identify themselves, while others may have a sponsorship representative or provide opportunities to connect after the meeting.

You can ask someone directly whether they are available to sponsor, or whether they would be willing to have an initial conversation about what sponsorship might involve. It is reasonable to ask about their experience of the Steps, how often they usually speak with a sponsee, what boundaries they have, and how they approach reading and written work.

A sponsor does not need to be perfect or have all the answers. What matters is that they are willing to share their experience honestly, listen without judgement, respect boundaries and support you in taking responsibility for your own recovery.

Not every person you ask will be available, and not every sponsorship relationship will be the right fit. Either person may decide not to continue. This does not mean that anyone has failed. Sometimes members need to keep attending meetings, asking questions and making connections before finding someone with whom they can build trust.

Sponsorship is voluntary. You are free to choose whether to have a sponsor, whom to ask and whether the relationship continues to support your recovery.

Member-led networks are also available to help members:

• share experience, strength and hope about sponsorship
• connect with others interested in working the Steps
• form Step Groups or Sponsored Step Study Groups
• arrange CoDA outreach calls

Ways to be Supported Through the CoDA Twelve Steps

• find someone to Sponsor you
• attend a Sponsor-led Step group
• attend Step-focussed meetings
• develop a co-sponsoring relationship
• join or form a Step Group (aka Po5 group)
• attend a Step Study

Getting Started

Studying the Steps and Traditions usually involves reading CoDA literature, reflecting on questions, writing about personal experience, and sharing that work with a sponsor, co-sponsor or Step group.

Working the Steps goes further. It means putting what is learned into practice: recognising patterns, taking responsibility, making different choices, developing healthier boundaries, making amends where appropriate, and continuing to apply the principles in everyday life.

The Traditions are often studied in relation to meetings, groups, service and personal relationships in our lives. They help members consider how principles such as unity, autonomy, group conscience, responsibility and anonymity apply in their relationships with others.

So the distinction might be expressed as:

We study the Steps through reading, reflection, writing and sharing. We work them by applying their principles in our daily lives.

CoDAs Steps One, Two, Three

Using CoDA’s 30 Questions

CoDA has produced a Thirty Questions tool to help members begin working Steps One, Two and Three with the support of a sponsor, co-sponsor or Step group.

CoDAs Steps Four & Five

Using the CoDA’s 40 Questions

CoDA has also produced a Forty Questions tool to support members in working Steps Four and Five. It may be used with a sponsor, co-sponsor or Step group to help members reflect on their patterns, share honestly and deepen their recovery.

Purchase The Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions Workbook of Co-Dependents Anonymous

Purchase the CoDA Blue Book (Co-Dependents Anonymous)

Sponsorship resources from CoDA.org

• CoDA.org – Sponsorship
• CoDA.org – Sponsorship Brochure
• CoDA.org – Resources for Sponsors
• CoDA.org – Working the Steps in a Group (including sample script)

See also

FAQs – Sponsorship
Shared with thanks – Sponsorship
Sponsorship shares
Co Sponsorship shares
Group Sponsorship shares