- You are powerless over your sponsee and your sponsee’s life is unmanageable by you. Neither of you would be in CoDA if you didn’t have problems with codependency.
- You aren’t in charge; your sponsor’s Higher Power is. Believe that a power greater than either one of you can restore your sponsee to insanity.
- Make a decision at the beginning of your relationship with your sponsee to turn the sponsee’s will and life over to a power greater than either of you.
- Be honest with yourself about your relationship with your sponsee. This is a great opportunity to observe yourself in a relationship.
- Admit to your Higher Power, yourself, and your own sponsor when you dont know what to do.
- Be ready to change things which aren’t working; your schedule, the literature you work with, the reponse you give when your sponsee comes up with the same problems.
- Before meeting your sponsee, you might find it helpful to say a prayer such as this “Higher Power, use me to say whatever it is you want my sponsee to hear today”
- It is all right to make mistakes. You are not in charge of your sponsee’s recovery; your sponsee’s Higher Power is.
- If you feel you have given a bad direction or suggestion, let the sponsee know.
- It is all right if the relationship doesn’t last. You might realise after a while that you are not able to work with a particular sponsee for whatever reason.
- Seek through prayer and meditation to understand your Higher Power’s will for you in your role as sponsor. Pray for the power to carry out that role.
- Remember that your are carrying the gift of recovery, nothing else. Take satisfaction from any sponsee who comes to understand in the CoDA programme of recovery.
Twelve steps for sponsors may not be reprinted or republished without the express permission of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. This document may be reprinted from the coda.org website (CoDA) for use by members of the CoDA Fellowship. Copyright 2019 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.
