- You are powerless over your sponsee and your sponsee’s life is unmanageable by you. Neither of you would be in CoDA if you didn’t have problems with codependency.
- You aren’t in charge; your sponsor’s Higher Power is. Believe that a power greater than either one of you can restore your sponsee to insanity. [sanity]
- Make a decision at the beginning of your relationship with your sponsee to turn the sponsee’s will and life over to a power greater than either of you.
- Be honest with yourself about your relationship with your sponsee. This is a great opportunity to observe yourself in a relationship.
- Admit to your Higher Power, yourself, and your own sponsor when you dont [don’t] know what to do.
- Be ready to change things which aren’t working; your schedule, the literature you work with, the reponse [response] you give when your sponsee comes up with the same problems.
- Before meeting your sponsee, you might find it helpful to say a prayer such as this “Higher Power, use me to say whatever it is you want my sponsee to hear today”
- It is all right to make mistakes. You are not in charge of your sponsee’s recovery; your sponsee’s Higher Power is.
- If you feel you have given a bad direction or suggestion, let the sponsee know.
- It is all right if the relationship doesn’t last. You might realise after a while that you are not able to work with a particular sponsee for whatever reason.
- Seek through prayer and meditation to understand your Higher Power’s will for you in your role as sponsor. Pray for the power to carry out that role.
- Remember that your [you] are carrying the gift of recovery, nothing else. Take satisfaction from any sponsee who comes to understand in the CoDA programme of recovery.
Twelve steps [tips] for sponsors may not be reprinted or republished without the express permission of Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. This document may be reprinted from the coda.org website (CoDA) for use by members of the CoDA Fellowship. Copyright 2019 Co-Dependents Anonymous, Inc. All rights reserved.
