Attending Meetings

All CoDA meetings read, as written, CoDA’s four foundational documents: The Preamble, The Welcome, The Twelve Steps, and The Twelve Traditions of Co-Dependents Anonymous.

Meetings open with an introduction and the
reading of either The CoDA Opening Prayer or
The Serenity Prayer. Most meetings read “The
CoDA Guide to Sharing” and “What is
Crosstalk?” CoDA meetings use only CoDA
Service Conference endorsed literature for
reading and study.

Meetings vary in length from one hour to 90 minutes. Meetings can be in-person, online, or by phone. Typically, in-person attendance varies from 4 to 20 participants. See coda.org for listings of official CoDA meetings.

Meeting formats include Step or Tradition study,
CoDA Service Conference endorsed literature topic, or a speaker. After this portion of the meeting, sharing usually takes most of the meeting time.

Seventh Tradition donations are collected to
cover expenses, such as rent and the
purchase of CoDA Service Conference
endorsed literature. Surplus funds are sent to
CoDA intergroups, voting entities, and CoDA,
Inc., to support CoDA as a whole.

Announcements will be made to let members
know about upcoming workshops and CoDA
events.

At the end of meetings, groups read
affirmations, The Twelve Promises and close
with either The CoDA Closing Prayer, The
Serenity Prayer, or other CoDA prayers.

To be listed on coda.org as a CoDA meeting,
meetings must use only CoDA Service
Conference endorsed literature. CoDA
literature is available for sale at in-person
meetings before and after the meeting and
online through coda.org.

CoDA groups conduct regular business meetings, usually monthly. All members are encouraged to attend, participate, and use their voices. This is an opportunity to be of service and become an active member of the group. Attending business meetings, sometimes called group conscience meetings, gives members a chance to ask questions and learn about the group’s concerns and responsibilities.

These concerns include group finances, literature to be ordered, and any issues affecting the group and CoDA as a whole.

In CoDA meetings, we keep the focus on ourselves. We share about our feelings, our thoughts, and our needs and wants. We use “I” statements to help us express our feelings honestly, directly, and simply. Newcomers may feel anxious or distracted, fearing the idea of speaking. Sometimes talking about the fear will decrease its power and feelings of shame. Some may find it hard to stop talking once they start.

Newcomers are encouraged to share as they feel able. It is recommended to begin slowly; some wait weeks before sharing.

It is always ok to pass. During the meeting, we may wish to share any feelings that have emerged from our experiences with or feelings about the meeting topic. We limit our sharing to 3-5 minutes. This time boundary allows for
everyone who wishes to share.

After the meeting, it may be useful to talk with other members about their experiences as a newcomer. This is also a time to ask questions

Listening to others share in a CoDA meeting is how we begin to understand the problem, the solution, and the program. Learning to listen deeply is a skill that takes practice. Many find learning to listen to be one of the best gifts of recovery.

As we take the time to sit still and listen to others share in CoDA meetings, we begin to identify with their stories. Although their specific stories may be different from ours, we hear the truth that resonates with our experience. We begin to feel hopeful that we can find similar relief through CoDA recovery.

In CoDA meetings, we learn to practice letting go of crosstalk behaviors. This means we speak about our own thoughts and feelings using “I” statements, and we refrain from asking questions, interrupting, giving feedback or advice, referring directly to another person’s share, calling another person present by name, or making “you” and “we” statements. Although this may feel awkward at first, experience has shown us that CoDA’s crosstalk boundaries keep our meetings a safe place for us to recover together.

In the spirit of love and truth, we ask our Higher Power to guide us as we share our experience, strength, and hope.

We open our hearts to the light of wisdom, the warmth of love, and the joy of acceptance.

We thank our Higher Power for all that we have received from this meeting.

As we close, may we take with us the wisdom, love, acceptance and hope of recovery.

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.