To translate to your preferred language
- In co-dependency, my good feelings stem from you liking me;
In Recovery my good feelings stem from me liking me. - In co-dependency, my good feelings stem from your approval;
In Recovery, it’s self-approval that determines my good feelings. - In co-dependency, your struggle affects my serenity;
In Recovery, your struggle matters because I care about you, but it does not control how I feel about myself. - In co-dependency, my self-esteem is bolstered by solving your problems, relieving your pain;
In Recovery, my self-esteem comes from solving my problems, sometimes experiencing my pain. - In co-dependency, my mental attention is focused on pleasing you;
In Recovery, I’m free to please me even when it may not please you. - In co-dependency, my mental attention is focused on protecting you;
In Recovery, I protect me, even if sometimes you must protect yourself without my help. - In co-dependency, I may disguise my feelings, manipulating you to do it my way.
In Recovery, I tell the truth about my feelings, regardless of the consequence - In co-dependency, my hobbies and interests are put aside; your hobbies and interests dominate;
In Recovery, I pursue my hobbies and interests, even if that means spending time away from you. - In co-dependency, your clothing, behaviour and appearance are dictated by me, as you are a reflection of me;
In Recovery, you dress, behave and appear as you wish, regardless of how it makes me feel. - In co-dependency, I am not aware of what I want; I ask and am aware of what you want;
In Recovery, I am not only conscious of my own wants; I verbalise and take action to achieve them. - In co-dependency, my dreams I have for my future are all linked to you;
In Recovery, my dreams are my own even if they do include you. - In co-dependency, my fear of your rejection determines what I say or do;
In Recovery, my commitment to strength, hope and recovery determines what I say or do. - In co-dependency, I’m afraid of your anger, it determines what I say or do;
In Recovery, I have no control over your anger and it has no control over me. - In co-dependency, I use giving as a way of feeling safe in our relationship;
In Recovery, I can still give because pleasing you pleases me, but I want to receive as well. And that two-way connection has nothing to do with safety or fear. - In co-dependency, my social circle diminishes as I involve myself with you;
In Recovery, I hope that you’ll like my friends, but if you don’t, I’ll understand. - In co-dependency, I put my values aside to connect with you;
In Recovery, my values are mine, as the core of my being they are sacrosanct. - In co-dependency, I value your opinion and way of doing things more than my own.
In Recovery, I value your opinion and procedures, but not at the expense of mine. - In co-dependency, the quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours;
In Recovery, the quality of our lives is separate, with clear boundaries separating the two. - In co-dependency, I tell everything right away, seek intimacy at the first meeting, and fall in love before I have any real information about who you are and what you can contribute to my life;
In Recovery, I allow time and friendship to intercede; I am not overwhelmed by you and can discern inappropriate behaviour. - In co-dependency, when something needs to be done and no one is willing to do it, I automatically assume responsibility saying, “someone has to do it”.
In Recovery, I operate from a position of choice, letting go, trusting to a Higher Power when circumstances dictate my saying “no” to someone else’s needs.
