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Ken and Mary – Living the Third Step

Shared with thanks to Arizona CoDA Events Committee


Founders of the CoDA Programme, Ken and Mary introduce session on living the third step through these unusual times.

Two and half hour session of experience, strength and hope, with exercises prepared by the founders and team.

Copy of exercises included below video.

CoDA Third Step Prayer – Exercise

God, I give to You all that I am and all that I will be for Your healing and direction.

  1. What does it mean to you to “give to your Higher Power all that you are for your Higher Power’s healing and direction”?
  2. What does it mean to you to “give to your Higher Power all that you will be your Higher Power’s healing and direction?”

Make new this day as I release all my worries and fears, knowing that You are by my side.

  1. How does knowing that your Higher Power is by your side help you in releasing all your worries and fears?
  2. How does knowing that your Higher Power is by your side help you during this time of pendemic?

Please help me to open myself to Your love,

  1. What is your process to opening yourself up to your Higher Power’s Love?

To allow Your love to heal my wounds,

  1. How do you experience your Higher Powerr’s Love healing your wounds?

And to allow Your love to flow through me and from me and from me to those around me.

  1. What is your experience emotionally, intellectually, physically and spirtitually when you allow your Higher Power’s Love to flow through you to others?

May Your will be done this day and always.

  1. What do you generally think your Higher Power’s will is for you? Is it Loving? Demanding? Fearful? Affirming? Joyful?

Amen

Possible Solutions and Tools for living our 3rd Step while dealing with advertsity, including the pandemic.

These tools are meant for suggestions only. Some are meant, clearly, to be practised on a daily basis, while others can be practised every week or two.

Remember that Self-Care is always about action, which is also the process of CoDA recovery.

Natural tools to deal with depression and anxiety through loving self-care

  1. Pray Daily… this is always #1, connect and talk with your loving Higher Power, always and in all ways.
  2. Step Work (possibly: I am powerless over the pandemic and feel like my life is unmanageable… we altered this a bit 🙂
  3. Meditate
  4. Breathe Deeply, Exhale Slowly… repeat and repeat
  5. Exercise
  6. Connect with others:
    (Zoom CoDA Meetings, Face-Time with friends and family, Phone Calls, Email, Social Media)
  7. Zoom CoDA Study Groups using the CoDA Blue Book, The CoDA Green Workbook and/or CoDA Pamphlets and Booklets.
  8. Ask yourself: “What would my Higher Power say about…?” “How would my Higher Power comfort me?” etc.
  9. Daily dialog with your Inner Child and Inner Teen.
  10. Loving Affirmations
  11. Journal your thoughts and feelings
  12. Releasing Emotional Energy from your body (see attachment)
  13. Do a Fear List Exercise:

    “Write out one liner’s of what you are afraid of, anxious over, worried about or fearful of.

    Separate the fears into 3 categories:
  • Problem Solving Fears: these are fears that you can get into solution with like: I’m low on groceries and need to get to the market before they close.” We can intervene on these fears by taking action through problem solving… like, going to the market and getting groceries before they close.
  • Fears of Shame: fears where we are afraid of looking dumb, stupid, not enough etc. (our negative self-talk). We can intervene on these and affirm the loving truth about who we are and who our Loving Higher Power see us to be.
  • General Fears of Bad Things Possibly Happening: this includes self-doubt, what-if’s, Ya Buts. We can intervene on these to stop scarig ourselves about the future and instead look for solutions, especially coming back to our 3rd Step and being willing to turn our fears over to the care of God as we understand God.
  1. Stick to a reasonable daily schedule
  2. Bathe and brush your teeth
  3. Participate in some form of hobby, recreation, and productivity
  4. Play games with friends online
  5. Play games with family
  6. Find new creative ways to play and have fun
  7. Healthy Diet (avoiding too many stimulants like sugar and caffeine).
    21 If you are in a relationship at home, make sure that you create consistent time apart to avoid circumstantial enmeshment.
  8. Is you have children at home, shared parenting is vital to everyone. If that is not possible, then asking for help from others is of great benefit in order to have some relief and balance in your responsibilities and for the children as well.
  9. Get outside for sunshine and fresh air.
  10. Watch the stars at night… notice the expensiveness of the Universe
  11. If possible, drive to a new destination every 2-3 days
  12. No matter what, know that you are not alone. We truly are all in this together. Practising loving self-care and loving self-acceptance of where you are right here, right now. It is enough!

Mary’s Closing reading

Our CoDA 3rd Step “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand God” helps to remind us that loving self-care is an important part of being “willing to be willing”. If we are not taking care of ourselves emotionally, spiritually, physically, intellectually or sexually, we can be more susceptible to returning to a “conflict in gods” making ourselves, others, even our feelings more important than our Higher Power.

“Making a decision” includes intentional thought, intentional surrender and intentional willingness to allow our Higher Power to guide us, to teach us, to heal us, to LOVE us right here, right now.

The tools we have listed are helpful for self-care, self-love and loving surrender. This is a short list, for there are engless ways we can love ourselves. In taking action to love our Higher Power and ourselves, living the 3rd Step is much easier.

It is always important to remember that we are human beings, loveable and fallible. There is no perfection in recovery. No perfection in life. It is a process made from a beautiful loveing heart that we continue on this journey.

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